Doggington Peas

Good news! I've found Paul. He was running free on the Salisbury plains, no doubt looking for his master. Somebody had daubed 'Timothy was here' on his side in what looked like blood. Timothy Scalextric declined to comment. John is looking much more healthy as well. He's been eating plenty of food and drinking water. Timothy let me know that he hadn't been feeding or giving water to the dogs whilst I was gone because he "ain't no mum and they should support themselves, the hairy bastards and besides no one told him he was supposed to." In the future I will look for other house sitters.

Timothy Scalextric left my caravan today after his extended stay, after punching me and taking my wallet as 'living in this dumphole fee'. It seems perfectly fair to me, I only wish he didn't take the photographs of my mother. Finally, I can get back to my important work!

I telephoned the World Doctors Association last night to tell them I was back. The leading World Doctor, Reginald Track was very enthusiastic about my return. He seemed particularly eager that I should get back to work immediately, telling me to 'go away and please stop phoning him'! He is clearly as excited as I am about how near to completion my latest idea is. I have developed a pencil, with another pencil next to it so when one runs out, you will still have a pencil! Soon, the name McInsley will be a household name I'm sure. I got the idea when drawing the blueprints for my helicopter and running out of pencil. Now I have enough pencil to finish not only my helicopter, but perhaps my time machine.