2012
The End of All Things
Finally proof of the upcoming apocalypse has been found, the world as we know it will come to a dreadful end in the Gregorian calendar year 2012. Fire shall rain from the sky, the oceans will rise up and turn to boiling, putrid black blood that will spill over the lands and drown all life as it congeals in our lungs. The skies shall shatter as a deluge of death drowns the Earth, civilisation will crumble and humanity will humble before the cataclysmic might of the universe.
I was naturally a sceptic, I denied it out of logic and disbelief but now any wishful doubt I harbour is through fear alone. I can already feel it beginning, I see the transformation around us, I see the world turning to ash, bones to dust, and life to ruin. I feel the blood boiling in my veins and my eyes bulge with the pain, the end is coming, it is confirmed and fear is all that fills me. Repent now I tell you, repent before it is too late!
What confirmation did I receive you ask?
Was it a message from some divine being?
From god perhaps?
Did I send the message to my present self from the future?
Were extraterrestrials somehow involved?
If so did they resemble hyper-intelligent dog like beings?
Am I ever going to get to the point?
I cannot say.
Words alone cannot explain its full magnitude and instead it is best that you witness the message, the confirmation and the truth with your own eyes. Be warned though, it is a truly shocking image to behold, your life will change and your fears will overcome you.
I shall show you now and you shall drop to your knees and cower before it in terrified glory.
The Message.
The Confirmation.
The Truth.
...
Now you see.
Now you know.
Soon they all will.
I know, I know, the image is terrible, but let us study it for a second before averting our eyes from agony once again.
Why would my new card expire in 2012 if not because that is when the world will end?
It is the only logical reason, there can be no other explanation.
A coincidence you say?
Be not foolish when the sake of the world is at stake.
June 2012, that is when I shall die, it is when death will find us all.
I, of course, contacted the bank in order to find out the exact day but they refused to comment and merely tried to reassure me several times that 'Our debit cards are not apocalyptic prophecies' and when I asked to be put through to the prophecy department they simply laughed. Clearly the banks are all in on it. This terrible blow to the world will be delivered by their hand, they have cut our throats to drink of our financial blood but uncontent they intend to deliver a final, crushing blow to our skulls.
Why?
I have my theories, you will note the banks 'logo' and how closely it resembles a 'recycling sign.'
What are they recycling?
It certainly isn't money, could it be a sign that they worship an ancient religion that believes in recycling the Earth?
Do they intend to destroy the planet to build a new one?
The symbol has three shapes, has this already happened three times?
Or will this time be the third?
Is it counting down, will it in fact be the second?
Who can say?
So now we see the terrible truth, you might call it an 'inconvenient' one perhaps. By the way I am selling the rights to my film script about this at the moment, I'll start the bidding at £4m.
Why would my new card expire in 2012 if not because that is when the world will end?
It is the only logical reason, there can be no other explanation.
A coincidence you say?
Be not foolish when the sake of the world is at stake.
June 2012, that is when I shall die, it is when death will find us all.
I, of course, contacted the bank in order to find out the exact day but they refused to comment and merely tried to reassure me several times that 'Our debit cards are not apocalyptic prophecies' and when I asked to be put through to the prophecy department they simply laughed. Clearly the banks are all in on it. This terrible blow to the world will be delivered by their hand, they have cut our throats to drink of our financial blood but uncontent they intend to deliver a final, crushing blow to our skulls.
Why?
I have my theories, you will note the banks 'logo' and how closely it resembles a 'recycling sign.'
What are they recycling?
It certainly isn't money, could it be a sign that they worship an ancient religion that believes in recycling the Earth?
Do they intend to destroy the planet to build a new one?
The symbol has three shapes, has this already happened three times?
Or will this time be the third?
Is it counting down, will it in fact be the second?
Who can say?
So now we see the terrible truth, you might call it an 'inconvenient' one perhaps. By the way I am selling the rights to my film script about this at the moment, I'll start the bidding at £4m.
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