'Psychic Paul'

'PIG TRIAL! PIG TRIAL! PIG TRIAL!'

I read today that 'Psychic Paul' the octopus made famous by predicting winners in the 'World Cup' is to be canonised by the pope for his services to humanity. Where I gleaned this information from is not important, just be assured that it is most definitely not an unreputable source of misinformation.


Personally I find the whole affair rather disturbing, not because an optocus has predicted the winners so accurately, chance events like this occur all the time. What I find disturbing is the way that people are revering the phenomenon as if it were some kind of miracle. It is strangely reminiscent of the case in which a medieval village elected a pig as their mayor when they found that all its hair had grown in just one spot, a spot in the shape of Jesus. The swine was revered for some months and much of the town was demolished and replaced with mud pools as per its orders, or the orders as they imagined them to be anyway. I am rather hoping any similarities between the octacat and that ill-fated pig will stop here and things won't go quite as far. Several months after the town had been seeded with concealed truffles, as per mayor piggies request he was heinously executed when someone pointed out that the patch of fur now bore more resemblance to Judas than Jesus.

Let's just hope that no one disputes the final scores after studying the slow motion replays or Mr Octopolots is going to be in for a rough time.

Of course you have heard the full story hundreds of times before, I am sure, after all it is a popular subject for Christmas specials of programs such as 'Eastenders' and 'The Bill!'
However one aspect you might not be so familiar with, unless you are from a legal background (lawyer, police officer, criminal, etc)... is just how often this case is used in high end law suits as a defence. The medieval trial that led to the animal's execution was of course a sham, but then any court case in which a pig is the defendant, god is the witness and that ends with a barbecue is likely going to be an unfair one.

The story is so well known in the legal fraternity and in the general public that the case is scarcely cited or even mentioned but it has led to the use of several popular phrases relating to the ancient case. Such as:

'Jesus Shaving' - This is often used to make allegations that evidence has been tampered with or planted.
'Stop pulling the pigs tail' - Stop agitating the defendant/witness/police.
'Like a pig in mud' - Similar to 'Like a psychopath in entrails,' this is used to describe a happy defendant and as we all know happy means guilty. 
'Now you're really shaving the Messiah' - Taking the piss.
'PIG TRIAL! PIG TRIAL! PIG TRIAL!' - This phrase is often chanted repeatedly by jurors, witnesses and lawyers when the justification of the trial has fallen into disrepute. This most famously led to the acquittals of O.J.Simpson and Michael Jackson (now deceased) and has subsequently been banned in all but 10 states of America.